Why nested within you?

The Matryoshka or Russian nesting doll serves as a powerful metaphor for the complexities of identity.  Each doll, carefully nested within another, illustrates the layers that contribute to a person's sense of self throughout time.

The outermost doll symbolizes what the world wants to see from someone “like you.” This includes the roles you play, the masks you wear, and the boxes you fit into, all of which are informed by family, culture, and society. The innermost dolls are the containers. They hold the parts of you no one gets to know or see, such as your stories, your dreams, your traumas, and your authentic self. From a young age, you learned to tuck away these parts for safekeeping. You learned that playing pretend was not just a game you would grow out of, but a survival skill you would grow into.

So, you step into your outer doll like a suit of armor you are expected to wear, and you use her like a compass. She allows you to navigate this world with a sense of ease. You play pretend, you perform, and you mold yourself to the comfort of others. Without her, how might you feel respectable enough to be taken seriously, or pleasant enough to be liked? Without her, who would be there to take care of everything, make sure your family is OK, and keep the peace in your relationships? Perhaps your mother was expected to do the same, and her mother, and so forth. There is a reason these shells and shields were developed throughout generations; they are protective. This is especially true for marginalized folx whose safety and acceptance depend on this process. But ultimately, these roles and expectations limit the full expression of who you are.